Placebo

Been standing on the edge of a hollow feeling in my chest, too feral to put into words. Started on a graceful note that flattened below a curve. I’ve been needing someone to ask me, “How are you?”, at the same time, needing space from everyone, including my shadow.

I’ve been searching for a cure for my self-esteem, and they found the perfect patient. Nothing to live for, nothing to lose, so they gave me a pill to revive my spirit and straighten my skeleton. Twice a day, first when I’m uncertain, the second just because. I swallowed the lot in one swig. Bottoms up.

The ground gave way beneath my feet, thorns draw scars like tattoos on my skin. Never mind the jitters, I can feel something other than empty chaos.

The effects wore off and had me panting. Breathing like I could faint any minute. Breathing like I was barely surviving, perhaps because I really wasn’t.

Elixir of courage, dissipated into my bloodstream,Leaves me with memory holes. As if a serpent nestled inside my skull. Excreted through skin. Come to find out, there is no fixing broken.


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